I'm collecting up an army of cute looking critters that can attack the noisy builders across the road from me. These little sweeties might look cute, but behind that demure exterior lays a savage beast, coiled ready to spring and gnaw their way through your ankle bone, so you fall over, allowing them access to your neck! There is going to be a builder blood bath if those workmen don't stop whistling at the passing women, singing along loudly to their slightly out of tune radio and throwing roof slates down crashing to the floor, spraying people, cars and the pavement with thin, sharp slivers of slate! So little critters come unto me! Mwhahahahahahahahahahaha!
I can hear you all laughing. You all think that Pinky looks about as scary as a new born kitten. Well let me tell you, Pinky got her name from chewing peoples little fingers off when they didn't do what she wanted them to. She is the ring leader of my gang of critters. Feltmeupdesigns thinks that the reason she looks so sleepy is that she is out all night at the disco. Pffft! Pinky is running the whole of the lower east side docks illegal diamond import trade. That's why she never comes home before dawn!
Tippy might just look like your average turtle, but beneath that shell there beats a heart of iron. Tippy is so nicknamed because if you ever need ideas of where to get something a bit dodgy Tippy can tip you off as to where to find it. Nods as good as a wink to a blind cat.... He turned to a life of crime because it was so easy to get away with it. Everyone, including TwoDancingCrows believed that this slow moving creature could do no harm, so no one is ever suspicious of his behaviour and that shell is a perfect hiding place to stash the cash.
Lolly the Pink squirrel has a massive complex about being a male, being pink and cute looking. He was taunted so much as a young boy by the other squirrels in the oak tree it pushed him over the edge. He's lost all grip of reality. Don't upset him, because when he loses his temper lots of blood, guts and sticky mess seem to ensure. All I'd have to do is tell him one of the builders said he looked like a girl and BAM! One builder, turned inside out. Ewww... it's very messy. If only sugarsnaps had made him blue.... *le sigh*
Kezzaroo's Honey bear might look like a cheery little fellow and he usually is, but behind that smile is a bear brain trained in the art of Kino mutai. Trust me; this is not a bear to be messed with. That being said, I have picked him for the team because of his chivalrous nature. He is always polite and genteel to everyone... until the prove that they do not deserve respect. Then he sorts them out swiftly. No fuss. No mess. I think Honey bear will be a calming influence on Lolly and stop him from attacking the wrong people.
The last member of the crack team is Bruce. He is on the team primarily to help the others up the scaffolding. He is world renown for his fast climbing skills and on his ability to keep his head in a crisis. Siansbury has had him pumping iron for weeks to make sure he is toned and buff enough for any job he gets sent on. For Bruce is a soldier of fortune. If you can pay the price, this monkey is yours! Thank goodness Pinky just sold of the latest batch of diamonds; otherwise this monkey would be out of our price range!
So, this is my crack squad of plushie critters that will take on the evil builders. I'll update you as to how they got on later!
4 months ago
LMAO! You are amassing your own private army. I would love to see the look on the builders faces when they see this lot coming at them!
ReplyDeleteHahahaha awesome collection of cute creatures!
ReplyDeleteYou can borrow my parrot, he's like an attack dog, but sneakier. He goes after toes.
LOL, those little creatures are so cute. They just can't be that vicious ;O)
ReplyDeleteVery funny it brought a smile to my face, don't you just love those critters!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is brilliant!! Power to the plushies!
ReplyDeleteBruce's tatoo is rad, if only I could get a tattoo embroidered onto my arm.
ReplyDeleteOMG...they are adorable! But scary too! LOL
ReplyDeletei love pinky!!
ReplyDeleteAw, that pink rabit is just too cute!! :)
ReplyDeleteOMG these are awesome. I love Bruce and his bad-ss tattoo.
ReplyDeleteI love them all! So cute!! (And do you really have daffodils out right now?? I'm jealous, even if I do love winter!)
ReplyDeleteAll your little guys are so cute.
ReplyDeletewow, those Critters are perfect Easter gifts! I just love them!
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